chasity

Second, I came here to read about Bipolar 2 because I suspect I may have it also. I am 33 and I have dealt with PTSD, anxiety and major depression for most of my life, as a result of a difficult childhood (which, on the upside, has given me a lot more empathy). So, if I have further undiagnosed disorders it hasn't been clear to me which disorder(s) may be causing problems I have had to deal with, and I have pinned most of it on PTSD. I am more than a little wary of therapists since I have had so many horrible ones in the past, so I haven't seen anyone for years. I was prescribed Zoloft in high school during a deep depression and it made me feel suicidal, so I stopped taking it after only a couple of weeks. I haven't been interested in taking any medications like that, since, even though another doctor tried pushing the same one on me in college. I've never been on any meds aside from occasional use of tranquilizers for anxiety, but I don't like the feeling of pills like Klonipin and it doesn't stop my racing thoughts.

I started dating someone who has Bipolar 2 recently, and he has been the most amazing, patient and understanding person I have ever met. He has been stabilized for a while now, goes to therapy (Cognitive-Behavioral, I believe) and is being treated with Lamictal (very low dose), and it works well for him. He has pointed out to me that my moods cycle, that I get unusually energetic and then my mood crashes hard right afterward, that my sleeping patterns and appetite change drastically, that I get really irritable. These were all symptoms he had, so he can more easily recognize it in me.

I am starting to think he is right. Especially after this week, where I was up until very late hours of the night cleaning everything in the house and trying to get as much done on my to-do list as possible (and if anything got messy I got really upset and had to clean it right away, even though usually I am more of a slob). I questioned why I felt like I had so much energy all of a sudden, wondering if it was hypomania, and I said "if this is a bad thing, why do I feel fine?" But then right afterward, I was too tired to get out of bed or eat, slept for most of the next few days, and became increasingly depressed and irritated. I was also randomly weepy for no apparent reason. I tried to be social and I started having such horrible anxiety and negative thoughts that I had to go home. I had very demeaning thoughts about myself, that people hate me, that I am totally worthless and don't belong here, which of course made me wonder how I had gotten so low, so fast. This happened over the course of a week, actually 6 days.

Someone else mentioned irritability in the comments. Being irritable has been a HUGE issue for me. It wasn't until recently that I learned that is a Bipolar 2 symptom. I used to think it was a PMS/hormonal problem, but it isn't always when I have PMS.

Does anyone else with these type of experiences agree that I may perhaps have Bipolar 2? I don't understand much about the disorder yet, how moods are triggered, what you can do to try and control that, natural ways to stay healthy.. these are the things I am trying to look into right now.

Any input is appreciated and would help us all.